Cuck PTSD-

Teen years-

Let me start this both inspirational and slightly dark thread by saying that I have never been on a first date with a woman who didn’t already know how many times I licked jizz off a woman’s body. From finding the porn at 15 to having my asexual politeness be the route cause at 17 when I was a cameraman turned leg holder turned creampie eater. Then shortly after not really want to stop being a supportive third, hence finding craigslist and adult friend finder. My first personal ad( almost 13 years ago) seeking couples who wanted a helping third was titled “Sexually Support Caterer” By posting in every city within 5 hours of me. With a pretty young face, I had more couples wanting a supportive third than most college guys have to pick women to date. I sent emails apology emails every Friday with couples who didn’t share my personal ideal version of servicing as a cuck. I had all the fun experiences and some bad after shame. Mid-relationship cuck couples have the privilege of after care. I cuck third is just an experiment to enhance another couple’s love life. Many of these couples even invited me to birthdays and sporting events. So grew to want me as an equal third in the bedroom and I had to leave.

From fetish to partnership-

I found Fetlife in 2008. When I was young and fet was only a few months old. I was the guy just looking to keep that fetish high. It was then I learned that cuckolding could actually be done in a real relationship. So I went to dating apps first. When I had some super mean things sound about me after when saying little of what I have done as cuck many just reported me. I found a woman shortly after turning 23 and after a few visits and some white lies to my family, I moved. The biggest decision of being with an already formed couple compared to a woman who just shares the same fetish is the consistency you have to be the cuck and the timing of her being turned on and you being tuned on never truly lines up .

Consistency is the killer of curiosity-

We agree not to meet other men until after I moved. A month later we met our first bull. Up to that point, I was always the third. That and up to that point I only really ate pussy after someone cum in a woman but never on her. The first the bull pulled out to cum and I swear to god after one lick I wanted to go home and fuck women like a normal guy. It wasn’t until she was super encouraging after it that I grabbed a water bottle I proceeded to “Cleanup” I did throw up in the restroom about 10 mins later very quietly so she couldn’t hear. My first time sucking dick didn’t go great either. But we met bulls 2-3 times a week. Now, after an almost 2-year relationship is a lot of cum to eat.
But your brain normalizes anything after time. Hell, even now I tell women at bars I’m into watching my girl with hung black dudes. I have gotten mixed reactions.

But after close to a year the leg-holding, fuck-licking, body support, and even the cuck sucking felt like an average Friday night. Its great when you have a person who understands. Its total alienation when you don’t.Two more relationships that lasted more than a year have come and gone. I’ve moved a few more times just for the sake of being a cuck. Each time your new friends don’t understand why you have to move. Each time you think that I’ll just make new ones in the new place. I have only searched for and only have thought of m future as a cuck. Not a stag or a husband who shares his wife. I have gotten older and now look older than I once did. I still meet couples maybe 2-3 times a year to feed the need. I still go on tinder dates with younger women who have an interest in it. After she talks for 2 mins I know for sure she just wants to just explore.

The aftermath of an entire adulthood as a supportive third-

I see younger happy couples at bars all the time. I wonder if I really wasted all of my 20’s with the cuck obsession. I have never felt closer to a woman/person than I do when I am a cuck. Its as if I am at the mercy of someone who doesn’t even know it. She could say so many things that would just kill my self-esteem in the moment but accepts me as the supportive third. But with all the BNWO, cuckolding, findom and Twitter groups. More men than ever are so obsessed with the cuck stuff that one day years later it’s just loneliness and memories that yourself is the only person to share them with. I talk to myself daily reliving cuckolding moments.

As someone pushing 31, I haven’t had a regular relationship or regular as much as a college freshman would. The porn numbs you and the 8-10 women a month I talk to keeps the hope alive for a “death do us part” partner but at what cost. Is there even a real chance that all us wannabe cucks will ever find someone. Someone on here told me that 10 years ago. I wonder how it worked out for him.

-Building her up-

The one thing that I have learned about myself after having done the cuck role and relationship is I love making people, especially women feel more confident than they have ever felt. I have had cuck relationships where It wasn’t my first time being the service third but my first time doing it with women who knew me beyond the cuck stuff. Where we both had a little bit of uncertainty and a lot of concerns that the other one was using the other as a fetish dispensary.

Now, that was almost 8 years ago and I had more than one cuck relationship that started out from the very start that way. The one thing I still think back on from her, the other women, and 13 years of continuous justified not giving up on this desire is the idea of seeing women go from having doubts about herself, or about partaking in the amount of vulnerability required at the very start of this style of partnership to seemingly developing a sense of control over what she wants from others. From the first time meeting a bull, where she doesn’t know what exactly to say or do and you rely mostly on communication beforehand with him to see if he understands how the bull(not a dom) works. From seeing me under her during sex for the first time to seeing me perform cleanup for the first time.

Especially, when you have only known each other for a few months. Then as you guys get more experienced she begins to grow this sense of confidence that everyone knows their role. That she doesn’t feel bad for me or doesn’t rely on our bulls to involve me. You became more of a team and less like kinky friends.

I have seen this raise in confidence from many women after my first cuck partner. But I will always remember the feeling of seeing her talk and act during our first cuck encounter to seeing her act during our 30th cuck encounter.

The Cuck Dating app problem:

I went on a date tonight with a girl I met on Hinge. Which after you print out an image of the word “Cuckold”( maybe spicy the photo up a little) and take a photo of the printed-out paper. Then use that image as your main pic and pay the extra 20$ a month you can have more than 1:30 mins to record your profile intro.

I learned tonight that the hardest part of dating as a single cuck is knowing that you are a single cuck.

I have gone I many dates with women off apps who were interested in the cuckold dynamic. From 19 years old to almost 31 years old. At 19, I made many mistakes when it came to demonstrating to women that I was socially outgoing, verbally confident, and emotionally supportive but still wanted the more extra service-oriented cuck relationship( Fluffing, fuck-licking, cleanup, etc)

It’s like having to show someone that you can be a traditionally desirable man but also say yes when another man asks you if you’re already to lick up his cum off of your girl. This being before you have even seen her naked. Dating has a single cuck is like knowing that you are almost the exact opposite of what a woman was raised to desire in a man but still trying to show the normal parts outweigh the service/cuck parts.

Back at 19, I would of course make the mistake of talking about my cuck past in high school but not really getting into the sexual details. Out of fear of judgment of what I have done as a cuck. Most younger women only want the most Aphra men they can get and if they have an interest in more sexually passive men its only to try and many already have non-cuck boyfriends. So, any sign of you being the less sexual dominate one and she loses interest. Most couples in cuck relationships will disagree, but the man probably didn’t have to answer the question “So are you bi then” on the first date. I get that question over 30 times a month. I don’t consider myself bi but at some point it’s almost easier to say that you are. But that’s not the purpose behind servicing as a cuck. One of my very first questions I ask women on dating apps is if they learned about cuckolding by the internet or by an ex-boyfriend. This tells you if she is familiar with the more extreme version of being with a cuck. Because most internet cuck porn is more focused on the cuck. In real life it’s more focus on the other two.

When you are dating as a single cuck you want to show a woman you can put her pleasure/happiness above all else. When if it at times makes you uncomfortable to do so. On the contrary, this comes across as needy and desperate. Everyone wants to feel like they are winning the prize. This is the big difference between starting a cuck relationship from the start compared to forming one.

At 30, I have learned to most definitely get into the sexual areas of what being a cuck means to you from the start. I’m taking from fluffing, fuck-licking, hair/leg holding, and of course cleanup duty. Or if you just want to share your partner with bigger men. I have relocated a few times and there were times I wished I would have told her that I actually do enjoy the more submissive-based cuck role before lies were told and jobs switched. I always wait until they bring it up first. If we are in a busy place I tell her to wait until we have a more private space. If she doesn’t bring it up she most likely is only interested in you sexually and probably will never want to see you as a cuck. Most women just assume all men want sex, cuck or not. I am very jealous of all the normal couples who started out totally normal and then started down the cuck path. All the emotional security, the history, the already exciting knowledge about each other. The best thing to do as a single cuck is to totally forget you are a single cuck.

Speak like a Man, Act like a Cuck

In this recording, I want to talk about 3 big mistakes that I see wannabe cuck/male subs make when talking to potential women.

The third is not addressing what your current job is, your current ability to relocate, your time frame for building a connection, and your plan for how you’re going to build that connection long distance. You can tell her that you can have a movie night by webcam, daily phone chats before her workout or before her shift, using online games on an iPhone/Facebook to have a playful experience on a regular basis.

The second is not understanding that all women have different exposure to want she considers to be submissive behavior. Some think talking to you about other men is extremely taboo. Well, others think that you need to crossdress and get pegged for them to see you as submissive. The last thing I think holds a lot of cucks/sub males behind what I talk about last.

The Battle Between Cucks who Fuck Or those who can’t( Even if they want to)

 

I’ll decided to do my first recording on cuckoldresses on the one
issue that many women seeking a cuck come across. This is something that has
stopped me in my cuck dating life and I have met other ex-cucks who have
suffered in their relationships because of their lack of interest in regular
sex.

It’s not because we don’t find you attractive. Or that we are
using you as a fetish dispenser. Its because the cuck desire is something that
is very hard to see yourself as a competent sex partner and a cleanup cuck.

Because of them roles affect how you see yourself. Even if you
give him sexual attention, he will not react in the same way that other men you
have dated have reacted. Remember we are cucks, we do/accept roles that
the majority of men will NEVER do.

The connection through sacrifice and Service- Not through Humiliation

I have relocated a few times for cuck relationships. I can say that being a supportive third for couples and being a cuck with a woman you see every day is very different. It has its getting used to phase. Where you may be with a couple once in every 3 months to now your fuck-licking and doing cleanup every weekend. You may not be turned on at 1am on a Friday night but she is. So, when a bull shows up, you and especially her have to know put you in the supportive cuck mindset. You have to explain to bulls what you are seeking and hope he isn’t just wanting to get some pussy. You have to make the bull feel like a bull in order for you to feel more like a cuck. He must be in a way sexually selfish when you must be sexually compliant. He must understand that disrespect and compliance and two different things.

When you have an actual partner who knows you beyond just the fact you lick up jizz off women it is amazing. I have sucked the dick with a few women and it’s uncomfortable to say the less. You don’t know how she feels about it even if she was the one who wanted it. But having a woman understand its not about attraction towards men. It’s about her actually wanting to(and just not OK with) guide you to feel more comfortable supporting her in them ways.

The things like fuck-licking, sucking cuck together, the head holding the cleanup and all the other duties it all fortifies you as a team. As two people giving and receiving acceptance of their chosen sexual path. You start not having that feeling of guilt and shame. You feel as if you should always be proofing your worth to her as a cuck and as her partner. Watching not only how good her pussy is making your bull(s) feel but seeing how good they make her feel.

Cleanup is tough! Its straight up the nastiest stuff you will ever have to get down your throat and never gets easier. But having a woman who is not only turned on by your sexual obligations to support on in that way but also feel closer to you because you are expected to perform roles that make you physically/emotionally vulnerable. Vulnerability is the foundation of any relationship. Personally, as a cuck I have put purpose in performing these so-called “Humiliating acts”. Humiliation is felt when you, yourself feel as if your self-identity is threatened. I have paid for cuck sessions and after you have had real relationships it feels as if you’re just paying someone to put on a narrative that you have created.

When you have it, its great. When its gone it feels like you’re an alien everywhere you go. From a bar to a store to talking to friends. Everyone tells you just to be more confident. Just buy some pills and have regular sexual relationships. But it’s not the pleasure that makes the whole cuckolding role so addictive it’s the purpose. After a few tries, you become paranoid that you will think you have it again just to learn the girl who has never heard the term “cuck” but has an interest in it will yet again, expects you to be a regular sexually dominant man after a few months.

Trying to explain the desire-

I just recently have been speaking more than the usual amount of women interested in the black-owned cuckolding world. I’ve been thinking about how I have changed emotionally since I had my first cleanup encounter as a cuck at 17 to now. After all the conversations, couples, and much other real-life cuckolding moments. First, let me say that I grew up in a mostly black area south of Pittsburgh, PA. I naturally become friends with white/black women pretty quick. See, I’m not a quiet/shy, passive guy that will allow you to disrespect me. I’m also not a hothead, wanting to believe my manliness by fighting everyone. I found cuckold porn at around 15. That one fucking click changed me forever. I was always the helpful guy; they give you a ride home guy, and the cancel my trips to hang out with you guy. I never thought that made me unless of a desirable man. As we all know predictability isn’t sexy.

To make a long story short. I have had about 3 female friends who knew me as the solider, the lifting guy, the funny dark sense of humor guy. Who would find out about my cuckolding desire and would do all of the things that most of us THINK we want to live a life of hair holding, rest-pause licking, of course clean up 😉

I started out hating other men because they got pussy. Because they could have no car, place, or money and still get pussy. I somewhat hated the black dudes from my high school, college, and work because it was a reminder I wasn’t desired. When I first started finding black men at 21 with a female friend, I already knew from an encounter in high school what cum tasted like. But never told her. I already knew what it felt like to pick up both my white girlfriend and her blk bf in my father’s ford to only be asked to leave the car so they could fuck. I used to really hate that I was just used. But I never spoke all.

Fast forward to 21 and to me explaining to a 23-year-old girl what cuckolding is without looking like a total bitch. She, for some reason, never really saw me as dominant/confident as the other female friends I had**. It was almost as if she knew already that I was the more submissive male type.**
If you have checked out my podcast, this was the same girl that I met her black master with who made me say ” I want daddy’s nut” Me and her met a few guys and out of 5-6, she went with the loudest mouth, arrogant black guys you can find.

When we would invite them to our hotel room once or twice a month, they would totally avoid talking to me. If they did, it would be the most condescending voice ever. In the first couple of encounters with the same guy, I couldn’t bring myself to do anything besides the before/after licking, and every time I did he would make a comment on how good his Ni**** nut tastes. In porn, that would turn a cuck guy on but in real life, and after worrying about gas to get home, it hits differently.

I soon learned that what makes you feel uncomfortable one day is just a matter of repetition. One night we had the same guy over at her mom’s place I was 22, she was 24 he was 31. I got in an argument with him about being gay bc I do the cuck thing. I asked him to leave. A few seconds later. She took me to the next room and said something I will never forget, and I think has really made me change how I see being a cleanup cuck.

>She said,” You know when I fuck him, I’m not fucking the man, I’m fucking his cuck, just like when you clean up its not out of respect for the man but for the cock.**

For some reason, after this I just stop caring what he said to me. Or what joke he threw my way. You if he asked me to hold her legs, hair, or to hold her head up. I just didn’t feel hate for it anymore. Of course, I was still a cuck and licked his cum up. That was 6 years ago, and I’ve had to deal with assholes as a cuck, solider, and employee. I guess something only hurts you if you let it.

-The girl from the bar and the replace Bull-

16:00 the comment

Recently I met a girl at a bar and the after some chit chat mentioned the fact I was into sharing my partner sexually. This was bc she and her guy friend were having a talk about what gender has it harder in dating. It wasn’t my first time turning the conversation with a woman into a chat about sexual fetishes. It is quite simple to do. Later on in the night, we are in her bed at her place together and after explaining to her a little about my cuck past asks what I actually do in the bedroom.

As I lay there wondering how to word this so as not to sound super crazy I remember a time that I saw this girl on tinder for around 3 months. We matched bc she was interested in having a more passive sub gut friend. We ended up meeting with each other around 10-12 times in the 3 months and saw a bull 3 times. One evening our bull her was going out of time for a few months but know someone to replace him. This is when after a pretty good evening with the three of us and during sex would make a comment that to this day makes me question my desire for cuckolding.

Types of Cuckoldress:

Type of Cuckoldresses

Every cuck relationship I have had, and any cuck relationship that starts out as one will have the same obstacle when it comes down to deciding between you are her and how much sex will be with bulls and how much with you. When you are a single sub man/cuck or single cuckoldress you will probably be asked what kind of cuck/cuckoldress you are seeking. It’s a very common question. Here are the most common cuckoldress types I have seen. I have had relationships with 2 of the following types of cuckoldress but have dated or met bulls with each of the following. Maybe not for 10 years each but this is not about married couples. From serving couples to traveling to meet women, relocating for women, and just pure obsession for 12 years. It all comes down to age, sex drive, the reason why, self-image, and time under tension.

The People Pleaser / Slut cuckoldress (most common):

Sexual freedom and cuckolding go hand to hand. But one is not the other. This cuckoldress just wants to feel like she is being used sexually. She wants to feel desired but fucked with an element of abuse. Many times, she is not really seeking a sub(cleanup) cuck, but she doesn’t know the term for what she seeks. Many use the term “Stag”, “alpha cuck”, “dom switch” or “Daddy Cuck

Many times, she is not a size queen but simply enjoys sex. She cares more about a man’s personality in the bedroom than what he has to work with. Even when is she into bigger men she would prefer it if you were more of a second bull than a cuck. Although she still uses the term “Bull” in reference to other men (because that implies dominance, which sends her to subspace) she still expects you to be sexually dominant most of the time. She enjoys knowing her sluty tendencies are supported by a partner and won’t be judged for liking to fuck very often.

Ratio: 90% sex with you, 10% with others. This style of cuckolding can be 80% you and 20 others but most of the time she’s going to want on 3 to 1 you over others.

The Free Spirit or Poly Cuckoldress:

This type of cuckoldress normally has experienced having many partners who know about each other. She is the physical embodiment of the phrase “I love to love”. For most of her life, she has been sexually fulfilled but has always been forced to choose between men whom she wants to date romantically. She may already have another man in her life and wants a cuck to fulfill her emotionally where the other guy lacks. She could be on the more controlling side after she has known you for some time. But dating as a cuck you don’t have much time (Long distance) She doesn’t refer to other men as “Bulls” because for her it isn’t about the power dynamic power but about the connection with each man.

Ratio: With 2 partners- 60% Him, 40% you (Because she will have known him longer)

Ratio: With 3-4 partners- Based on time spent with her and the other men and living arrangements- Ratio: 50% You / 50% others (the more partners a poly cuckoldress has the more aftercare she will need by the one who has been the closest to her) If you live together for a decent amount of time that hopefully will be you.

The National Guard Cuckoldress or Weekend Queen-

The weekend Queen is a cuckoldress who believes in the power hierarchy of the traditional service cuck-based relationship. She loves the more hands-on service cuck who can be an extra help when her legs need to be held on, her hair pulled back, her ass spread, and of course her back cleanup after sex. But just like the national guard, your rough/tough soldier on the weekend but go back to being just like anyone else on Monday. She wants vanilla during the work week and cleanup duty on the weekend. This is the first cuckoldress that has an interest in chastity.

She still expects you to initiate sex during the weekdays. She still expects you to take more control in the bedroom during the weekday. She wants a dominant alpha on thirsty Thursdays but a fluffing, fuck-licking, cleanup cuck on sluty Saturdays. She needs to still she her man as a traditional sex-hungry man. She is a switch that expects you to do from one super extreme to another as she does from weekday to weekend. She will wear the pants in the relationship in front of bulls but by Monday you are fucking from the back as she calls you daddy.
(Ex: Hotwife Brooke(Who in my opinion is NOT a Hotwife)

Ratio- 55% you, 45% others or 30% you, 70% others. (Now just Because your fucking her on the weekday doesn’t mean you’re fucking her more than others. It’s not like your fucking Mon-Fri. You may get Tuesday/Wednesday and your bulls get Friday/Saturday. At the very most you’re going to get 3 days a week and 1 for your bulls. Or one 1 for you and 2/3 for the bulls.

The Hotwife-

A very common and well-known type of cuckoldress. She is very similar to the sult cuckoldress. She is more selective and believes more in having someone new every so often to maintain that feeling of a new romance in her life. She refers to other men often as lovers than bulls. Having lovers is more about reinforcing her attractiveness than her control.

She is about feeling sexy, attractive, and desired by a highly valued man than establishing the power hierarchy between a bull, cuckoldress, and cuck. Some want their cuck to be part of the process of picking an outfit, watching her get ready and being there to talk to her during sex to reinsure her that he still wants/loves her. Which goes for any relationship cuck or not. The hot wife isn’t about having her man be sexually helpful in a service way but more in a conversational way.

Most times the hotwife dynamic will turn into her cuck letting her go out to meet men and come back to talk about the details.

Ratio: 90% you, 10% lovers. or 80% you, 20% lovers. This one is hard to assume. Many hot wives start out having a very traditional masculine partner for many years before exploring cuckolding. Many are 45 years of age or older. They sometimes will practice the weekend queen dynamic because her cuck is the one who wants to get into and she wants to make him happy.

The Cleopatra-

The Cleopatra-style relationship is the most extreme style of cuckoldresses to START a relationship. It’s purely a service-based relationship. This is the style most focused on by single cucks who want to have total sexual denial. This style goes against pretty much all traditional sexual roles of a relationship. Hence, making it the hardest because you’re going against traditional forms of intimacy. 95-100% of your sex life will be watching, assisting, and cleaning up after other men have had fun with the woman that he spends most of his daily life with

Any other cuckoldresses above may feel bad about not having PIV sex with their partner, the Cleopatra doesn’t feel any remorse about totaling denial of her partner. But of course, there are other forms of sexual intimacy besides penetration. You won’t be able to guilt trip her into sex or make her feel sorry. She expects you to understand the rules before you meet in person and years after you have been a couple. The cuck is not a sissy, weak, or lacking a backbone. He is simply someone who understands the role of a cuck for Cleopatra.

She truly feels that you should be happy enough in the supportive role and still believes you are the lucky one to be with her. This is also very problematic because this type of relationship is great in theory but in practice completely charges how each party sees their own sex/love life. She must be able to love her partner even if he is just there to serve. He has to understand that his sex life won’t be about his dick in any way or be like any other man’s sex life in his life.

Ratio: 0-7% you, 93-100% others. It’s unrealistic from a partner that you and her both find each other attractive to never have sex together. There are times when bulls are not available. Where it’s very late at night. Where it’s just about feeling close to your partner and not total sexual fulfillment. But Cleopatra was a queen and probably never had sex with the help.

Cuck Services: Reality Vs. Fantasy

I want to talk about something more positive. I want to give you a POV perception of what it’s like to give cuck service. I know many watch porn with hair/leg holding, breast attention, body support, fuck-licking, ass spreading, and of course clean-up.

The best cucks always leave feeling like they didn’t do enough.

I want to talk about at what moments you have take over even as a cuck. And at what point do you have to step back and got with the flow. Fuck-licking is not as easy as it seems. Are you licking with a purpose or just licking away. The position is everything.

The longer he fucks the thicker the nut

A cucks role is to provide a better quality sexual experience to his woman or to women. Overall, you should feel the burning desire to just provide support for the encounter for everyone. The best cucks always leave feeling like they didn’t do enough.