-Cleanup with Kindness-

2017

I just recently have been speaking to more than the usual amount of women interested in the cuckolding world. I’ve been thinking about how I have changed emotionally since I had my first cleanup encounter as a cuck at 17 to now. After all the conversations, couples, and many other real-life cuckolding moments. First, let me say that I grew up in a mostly black area south of Pittsburgh PA. See, I’m not a quiet/shy passive guy that will allow you to disrespect me. I’m also not a hothead, wanting to believe my manliness by fighting everyone. I found cuckold porn at around 15. That one fucking click changed me forever. I was always the helpful guy, the give you a ride home guy, the cancel my trips to hang out with you guy. I never thought that made me unless of a desirable man. As we all know predictability isn’t sexy.

To make a long story short. I have had about 3 female friends who knew me as the solider, the lifting guy, and the funny dark sense of humor guy. Who would find out about my cuckolding desire and would do all of the things that most of us THINK we want to live a life of hair holding, rest-pause licking, of course, clean up 😉

I started out hating other men because they got pussy. Because they could have no car, place, or money and still get pussy. I somewhat hated the black dudes from my high school, college, and work because it was a reminder I wasn’t desired. When I first started finding blk men at 21 with a female friend, I already knew from an encounter in high school what cum tasted like. But never told her. I already knew what it felt like to pick up both my white girlfriend and her blk bf in my father’s ford to only be asked to leave the car so they could fuck. I used to really hate that I was just used. But I never spoke all.

Fast forward to 21 and to me explaining to a 23-year-old girl what cuckolding is without looking like a total bitch. She for some reason never really saw myself as dominant/confident as the other female friends I had. It was almost as if she knew already that I was the more submissive male type.**
If you have checked out my podcast this was the same girl that I met her black master with who made me say ” I want daddy’s nut” I and her met a few guys and out of 5-6 she went with the loudest mouth, arrogant black guys you can find.

When we would invite them to our hotel room once or twice a month, they would totally avoid talking to me. If they did it would be the most condescending voice ever. In the first couple of encounters with the same guy. In porn that would turn a cuck guy on but in real life and after worrying about gas to get home it hits differently.

I soon learned that what makes you feel uncomfortable one day is just a matter of repetition. One night we had the same guy over at her mom’s place I was 22, she was 24 he was 31. I got in an argument with him about being gay bc I do the cuck thing. I asked him to leave. A few seconds later. She took me to the next room and said something I will never forget and I think has really made me change how I see being a cleanup cuck.

She said” You know when I fuck him I’m not fucking the man, I’m fucking his cuck, just like when you clean up it’s not out of respect for the man but for the cock.

For some reason, after this, I just stop caring what he said to me. Or what joke he threw my way. If he asked me to hold her legs, hair, or to hold her head up. I just didn’t feel hate for it anymore. Of course, I was still a cuck and licked his cum up. I even thanked him for it LOL. That was 6 years ago and I’ve had to deal with assholes as a cuck, solider, and employee. I guess something only hurts you if you let it.